Falling Action ~

Technically, the other half is finished. So, the half I have now is a whole.

I HAVE A WHOLE AGAIN. yay

Today was full of tears and fears, and also thinking to the next few years.

Horrible news came to me,

Scared of my debate,

and course selections got me thinking of what's to come.

I got my twin back today. I hope it stays like this.

:)

Everything's falling apart again, and there's really no use for me to get up.

I need a break. I wish I could just sleep for the rest of the week.

But, I have to go.

For the sake of, well, myself. I have to go.

First day of what normal is going to be like now. Wish me luck.

Focus Chai. FOCUS.

You can do this.

Little by little, they're slipping away from my hands.

Like sand running through, between my fingers.

And soon, they'll be gone.

It will all be just a memory.

As I walk on the snowy sidewalk towards our driveway, the trees sort of make an arch for me to walk under. The sun turns everything a pinkish-orange. The wind slightly blows, as if it were greeting you with a friendly hello. The birds in the trees play along, and sing their little songs. My footsteps make me feel like i'm floating, each step having a different aura. I reach our driveway, and walk to the front door. It opens, I walk inside, and it's back to reality.

This is my most favorite part of the day.

I really don't like assumptions.

I hate feeling confused. I would rather feel a cat, scraping it's claws up my arm, and then pouring alcohol over the bleeding cuts, rather than to feel confused. It bugs me. It's not a great feeling when you don't know what's happening in life. In a world this big, you should get lost enough. I don't need to get lost and confused for small things like this. UGH. LOVE IS PAIN.

How's school ? It's pretty good. It's killing me for sure. Hence why my mother is accusing me of living like a dead person. Pftt.

I come home > straight to my room > do work for about 4 hours > Shower > Snack on whatever I can find to eat > Do more work > Toothbrush > SLEEP. All of that in about 15 hours. Trust me, it might sound like a lot of time, but not when you only get 4-5 hours of sleep.

MY INSPIRATION IS COMING BACK OHMYGAWD.

I'll start posting poems on my other blog again soon. Very soon :)

okay g'night.

<3

So much has changed :

The people, my friends, my family, and even myself. I guess when your environment starts to change, you yourself can't help but go with the flow, and you just eventually just change into something new as well.

It's weird.

I have friends who I've known for tons of years, and now, you can't catch us talking to each other. Yet, I have friends who I've never spoken to before, but now we're all together 24/7. It's really interesting how everything can change so suddenly.

I MISS MY PAST. I wish my past would just come back. This past week, I was really feeling my past coming back. Which, left my neglecting my present. As much as I feel horrible about that, I couldn't help but just try to find that piece to get me back to my past. I miss my friends. I miss my life. I miss everything.

School's going down the drain, grandparents in the hospital, missing my past, wishes gone to waste, choices too much of a burden. These are all events that have happened to me in 6 months.